Recapitulation and Forgiveness
An extraordinary phenomenon occurs at the moment of death. When neural activity ceases and the brain shuts down, a portal opens between dimensions. The veils between the worlds part, 
enabling the dying person to enter into the world of Spirit. When a person has unfinished business in this world, she is unable to step easily through this portal. We cannot carry our worldly identity into the beyond.
A person who is weighed down by heavy emotional baggage remains bound to the Earth. This soul has to go through a very intensive life review as soon as she arrives on the other side. Some people who have had a near–death experience recall a panoramic life review—a very detailed and comprehensive judgment day—even though the experience occurred in only minutes of Earth time. When the person does not return to the physical body, the life review can seem to take years. The toxic energies accumulated through a lifetime in the Luminous Energy Field have to be combusted in an atmosphere where there is little air, which makes this clearing more difficult to accomplish.
The vast majority of reports in the literature on near–death experiences recount positive experiences. Yet cardiologist Maurice Rollins interviewed patients who had died and been resuscitated on the operating table. He did the interviews right after their experiences and found many people had ghastly experiences. They reported experiences that were frightening, fearful and painful. And then, within a short period of time they forgot about the painful encounter. Many of their descriptions were similar to the Bardo plains or “hell” written about in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
Raymond Moody, one of the foremost investigators of near–death experiences, states: “The judgment in the cases I studied came not from the beings of light, who seemed to love and accept these people anyway, but rather from within the individual being judged.” We are the accused, the defendant, the judge, and the jury all at once. How ready are we to forgive ourselves? Forgiveness and closure while we are still living, is the focus of Recapitulation.
In the literature from the Tibetan book of the Dead, life review occurs in the Bardo planes or what we call purgatory. We go through a dark tunnel and are met by beings to face our judgment day. It is in these domains where we cleanse; if we don’t have a physical body this is a very slow process—a time of self–suffering. It is important to deal with this heavy energy and the undone business from the past while the energetic cords still connect you with the emotional connections on the earth.
It is important for the family to give voice to the forgiveness and love that has not been expressed during the course of a lifetime. You would be surprised at the healing power of a simple “I love you.” This is not always easy, of course, yet a lifetime of mistakes can be undone through forgiveness even at the end of a life.
The recapitulation journey is about saying the “I love yous," and "I forgive yous.” It is the releasing of the heavy energies of the past and letting them combust. These words are very difficult to say from the other side. It is important that things are said before this judgment day so the life review process can happen here. This is very difficult to do alone in the spirit world, as we are so hard on ourselves. This heavy energy of the undone business from the past is what keeps our luminous body earthbound.
The sooner you commence the Recapitulation, and the more extensive the life review you accomplish, the easier the transition will be. Sometimes it is difficult to begin this conversation, especially if you have not had an intimate dialogue with your loved one in years. Find an entry point for dialogue. A way to initiate or frame this sharing may be to imagine you are both sitting next to a river and see what memories come floating down.
Assist them in telling their “story.” Be a sacred witness without judgment or comment, just listen to their sharing. When were the times they disappointed themselves, were of service, loved, or held regrets? Encourage the qualitative and quantitative. What do they remember, and sense? Help them to forgive themselves. Again it’s not about your forgiveness, but that they forgive themselves. Help them recognize that they are the hardest judges; looking at the ways they could have honored others and didn’t, or ways they hurt others. The near death literature refers to this life review process or panoramic life review where time seems to stand still; but actually happens in just a few minutes. It is this stage where we go through our panoramic life review; every action, word, and deed we have performed appears before us and must be accounted for. We observe it, feel it, and relive it.
This recapitulation process doesn’t need to be done by you, but it needs to be done. You can help to facilitate the assistance of other family members and friends. Many times the dying person has nothing to do but think about this undone business. By walking with the person through their life, this heavy energy from the undone business is disengaged.
Recapitulation offers your loved one the opportunity to tell you their story. Having the opportunity to tell one’s story has cathartic and healing power. It is the equivalent of doing your life review before you have actually died. Recapitulation is not a time for recriminations about past events; it is a time to listen to your loved one’s story. Whom does she need to forgive? Remind your loved one that she can forgive anyone through a prayer or a blessing. Ultimately, the dying person needs to forgive herself and know that she is fully forgiven by life. Lastly, ask her how she would like to be remembered. What are the stories she would like her grandchildren to remember her by? Recapitulation brings closure through forgiveness. Assist your loved one to let go of any feelings of having been wronged or having wronged anyone else.
Tremendous forgiveness can occur in the Recapitulation process. But do not expect to be a miracle worker and think that you can achieve in a few hours the healing that could not be accomplished in a lifetime. People tend to die in the same way that they have lived. Dying is a profoundly emotional experience for everyone involved, and it tends to bring back memories and feelings about the entire life of the person. If he was an angry person throughout life, there may well be unresolved anger when people gather. Family dynamics of the past tend to be magnified in such stressful circumstances. Be careful not to react to it or to take it personally.
Powerful realizations often come uninvited as one approaches death. One of them is understanding that we could have lived differently, loved more fully, and forgiven more readily. This anger is not being directed toward you personally. Make it okay for your loved one to voice his feelings, and respond to his anger with physical comfort and support. Hold your loved one’s hand as he cries or expresses his ire. Be an unshakable source of love and unconditional support even in a storm of rage. The more willing your loved one is to forgive himself; the more quickly his rage will turn into compassion.
If your loved one’s condition is critical and he has not been informed of this, by all means let him know. Most people know anyway. They can feel the change in attitude among the family members present—the new quietness in the room, the hushed voices, the forced smiles. It is best to be direct, yet gentle and compassionate. Your straightforwardness will give your loved one permission to be open and disclosing with you. He will know that he can count on you to speak the truth.
Next Step: Cleansing of the Chakras
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